Road Rage: Avoid, De-escalate, Act
If you own a car, or you’ve at least been a passenger in a car, you’ve no doubt experienced some form of road rage. Most studies will point towards common triggers: traffic congestion, running late, reckless driving (on behalf of the other driver), displaced anger, high stress levels, and to some extent a feeling of anonymity when in a vehicle.
If you don’t want to be the victim of road rage, there are a few things you can do.
The first should be obvious. Don’t drive aggressively: tail gating, cutting people off, racing your buddies. That is sure to anger other drivers, and it just takes that one driver who is carrying a gun.
Do your best not to fiddle with your phone texting, changing music, checking email or social media while you’re moving. If you just have to do any of that, wait until you’re at a red light. But do make sure that you’re paying attention, because when the light turns green, you need to go. If the person in front of you is looking at their phone, give the smallest of honks you can--BEEP. Don’t lay all your weight into your horn, blasting it. That can easily set the person off even though they weren’t paying attention. They could be checking a text regarding a loved one who is in critical condition in the hospital for all you know.
Don’t drive slow in the left lane. I’ll admit, this sets me off. In the Texas and California DMV booklets, they both state “slower traffic keep right.” In fact, you’ll sometimes even see signs along the highway saying that, plus it can be considered “rules of the road.” It’s one thing if you’re not aware of this, it’s entirely another thing if you have some grandiose sense of entitlement that “they can go around me.” Is it really worth it to possibly subject yourself to violence because you want to be a rebel and push your own sense of importance?
Now we’ll discuss what to do if you’ve angered someone. Wave and apologize! There have been times that I’ve accidentally cut people off because I didn’t seen them. Every time I’ve waved. Once, a guy did pull up alongside of me and throw his hands up despite me having waved at him. But nothing more came of it.
If you accidentally cut someone off and they honk their horn, yell at you, feed you the traffic finger, the absolute worst thing you can do in my opinion is to laugh at them. No one likes being laughed at, especially if you’re the one that screwed up. Do not laugh at someone. Now, if you’re laughing at yourself, or it’s a nervous reaction to stress, make it very clear to that driver.
I’ve read in some articles suggesting not to make eye contact. Let me tell you what enrages me more than anything (besides people intentionally driving slow in the left lane): when someone cuts me off and I elect to honk at them, and they ignore me. That actually makes me want to chase them down more than anything. What that says to me is essentially, “Screw you, you mean nothing to me, you’re not important.” As human beings, we want to feel that we matter. If someone has wronged us, our primal reaction is that we want an apology for their transgression, and we can forgive them. To be denied that, can be infuriating.
Don’t ignore people. Yes it can be uncomfortable and maybe even scary to look over at them and apologize, but suck it up! Wave and apologize.
I also suggest carrying a weapon in your vehicle these days because in the event that apologizing has failed to de-escalate the situation, and this person is now following you, you want to be armed. Call 911 immediately, and without driving aggressively, try and put some cars and distance between you and them. Do your absolute best not to get stuck at a light.
Some suggest driving to a public place, but if you spend anytime watching violent attacks on the internet like I do, you’ll quickly find out that being in a public space in no way guarantees your safety, anymore. There’s a myriad of videos of people being beaten and killed with several bystanders present. What’s more nauseating is the fact that no one comes to the aid of the victim. But that’s another blog for another time.
If you get stuck in traffic, keep an eye on the aggressor using your mirrors. Don’t turn to look at them because you might not see if the light turns green and you can get out of there. If they’re going to reach you and if you have a weapon, and we’ll discuss weapons in a moment, it’s my opinion to put the window down. Especially, if they have some kind of blunt object in their hand. Armed or not, if your window is up, there’s a good chance they’re going to smash/punch your window. You don’t want to get sprayed with shattered glass, much less have it all over your car.
When they reach your window you’ll want to lean back to your center console so they can’t grab you. This provides two things: if they open the door and you’re unarmed, you’re forcing them to lean into the car where you can easily jab your fingers into their eyes. Think about the physics of this: If the aggressor is leaning into your car, they’re not going to have the room to throw punches. The only two things they can do is try and choke you or grab a hold of you to pull you out of the car. You on the other hand have a clear path to strike them in their eyes by thrusting your arms out with your elbows tight to your body, not flared out. Likely they’re going to retreat from your vehicle as they reach for their eyes. At this time you can pull your legs out of the foot well, and kick at them should they try and come back at you. However, if you’re not very agile or athletic, do not do this!
By far the best plan of action is that you have a weapon. A taser, a kubaton with a sharp point, a knife (if you have the stomach), or a firearm if you have a concealed carry permit are your best choices. Mace isn’t a good idea because in those confined quarters, it’s likely to go everywhere, including your own eyes! A club of some sort would only help you if you were outside of the car with the room to use it, and I would never suggest you get out of the car. Look up actor Ian Ziering getting out of his car. Don’t do it!
If you elect to carry a weapon, it must be readily accessible! Not in a gym bag in the back seat of your car, or in the trunk.
So provided you have a weapon, you’ll do the same thing--lean back to your center console with your weapon pulled back tight against your chest so they can’t grab for it. The idea is for them to see it, and realize they have a choice to walk away. If they reach in, act quickly. If you’re stabbing them with a kubaton or knife, make sure to retract after each stab, don’t leave the weapon out there for them to try and wrestle away from you. If you’re forced to shoot them make sure your background is clear. That is specifically why I want you to retreat across to your console, so that the aggressor’s body “fills” the door well and you have a point blank shot to take. Check out the corresponding video on our YouTube channel, and you’ll see in the opening sequence a road rage shooting where an innocent person was shoot inadvertently in another car.
Protecting yourself is never easy, it’s always best to do everything you can to avoid violence. Be safe out there, and make smart choices every time you get behind the wheel of your car.
